One of the great privileges I get being an Equestrain/Leadership/Transition coach is meeting people in all different aspects of their lives. Some are being driven by their passion, others are fearful of that same passion, some are in a high point of their career/ life while others are feeling lost and jaded. Yet through it all we are all human and actively or subconsciously hope for a better tomorrow no matter where we stand in the now.
I taught two people today that let you see the pure joy of doing something they love. As the saying goes they weren’t’t riding for sheep stations but they were riding for themselves. Which is sometimes what we lose sight of in life. Yes there were things to work on and future hurdles to be over come but you know what that didn’t matter as they were enjoying where they were at right here and now. The future will arrive and hopefully by then they’ll be better equiped for it with the work they are doing right now. At this point it was about gaining confidence in their current skills right now. Sometimes as coaches we can caught up in developing skills to improve the future rather then making the absolute best of the current skill set and put more effort into enhancing the mindset around those.
Often what holds us back, is not that we don’t have the skills or tools but we just can’t picture literally when to use them and the outcome we can expect from them. Consistency of decision making and making sure decisions are enacted with some form of result is a critical part. Learning to assess the situation, make a decision, act on that decision and then re-check the results. People often get blocked in one phase of this decision loop or don’t keep repeating the loop. Riding is a sport where most decisions need to be made on the move and keep being made on the move, each moment is your moment to decide and act because it is the now once it passes you can no longer influence it. People in leadership and transition aren’t under the same pressure to make decisions on the move however can get even more stuck in that decision making process as the action may be quite confronting. The skills are often already there. They just haven’t been honed in this way to make the absolute most of those skills. Then we get to see who has been training who, the horse training it’s rider or the rider training their horse. Understanding these things and strengthening the foundation of how to make decisions, noticing what is important and relevant and what is back ground noise. Trusting the process and backing yourself are important skills to develop in riding and life.
Giving a rider confidence in their current skills before having the add to their skills set which often takes time and lots of emotional energy as they are then using new neons and requiring them to fire in the right direction. Anyone who has tried something new for the first time knows for most people whether the task is easy or hard, it’s still regularly confronting on some level. So as a coach if we can teach people to make the most of what they already have it also makes us look more for the positives and how can we enhance those not what is lacking. We are less likely also to place our own stamp on them. Our beliefs and expectations, while our experience is plainly important it’s not always as important in that initial stage as we may think as this client has come through life from possibly a very different course and needs to develop from that point forward not from your position forward. It’s a subtle difference however a very relevant one. As a coach you’re often thinking of scenarios and exercises in any form of coaching where as really watching someone and hearing someone with an open mind to see where exercises or conversations take you not where you have lead them can be surprising at times and fog clearing at other times. Something you had thought had no relevance may actually have a huge under current and influence in all aspects of life. Most people will try to compartmentalise their lives however there is often an unconscious overlap from one area into another. Finding those treads can make a huge difference to clearing a clients mind for better decision making on the facts and situation of now, not the decision from actions of the past.
Finding the right language to different people can be the difference between an idea and an action landed. Nuances of words can tigger actions or leave it sitting as a possibility. For one person simply a broad statement will give them a picture and action strategy where as for someone else they’ll need a source for their tigger point. Understanding habits and emotions that go with them helps to then start the journey of change.
Enhancing what you have and developing skills for the future, what better reason to give yourself a fist pump because life can be hard but not every day is about riding for sheep stations. It can be just about enjoying where you are at and making the most of it.
Thanks so much Ben and such a good reminder to fist pump the small steps, and take pride and pleasure in those moments.